Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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