do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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