If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
