Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
