physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize