I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Randomize
