She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i used baking grease as lip gloss
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
