is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
