And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
