waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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