1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
