we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
