ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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