All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
