i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize