What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
