Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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