i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
