the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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