I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
