I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize