if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
