Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
