Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
