nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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