dude i'm inner monologue high
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
as a side note pls kill me
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
