checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize