I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
