Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Too much gin, very little bucket
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
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