could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
