If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
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