I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
