she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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