She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
