; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
