We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Are we still banned from the library?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
