Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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