i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
