It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
