Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

That's when you crack a 10am beer

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(734): View more from Michigan

turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis

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(757): View more from Virginia

He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.

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(917): View more from New York City

you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues

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(432): View more from Texas

Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby

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(613): View more from Ontario

Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.

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(613): View more from Ontario

I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.

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