he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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