She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
