I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
