I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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