Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
