I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
