i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
