this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
