Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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