Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
