Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
