Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
