She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
