you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
