I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He kissed a someone with a penis
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
