so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize