Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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