i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We are two peas in an std pod
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
