I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
