I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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