I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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