ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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