In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just invented taco cereal.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
