After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
